I'm a fan of the Sour Patch Kids. Many extremely sweet candies coated with pucker dust fail, but Sour Patch Kids consistently kick your ass with their pleasantly sweet and sour high fructose corn syrup. So I was excited when I was at a random weird convenience market and saw their newest product: Sour Patch Xploderz.
First off before I taste, is it any surprise that the youth of America are becoming dumber and dumber??? "Xploderz???" Obviously thought up by some creep-master 50 year old dude who frequents his Myspace page -- where he's a 14 year old SHE by the way...
On to the taste...
Red with yellow goo inside: cherry with lemon... meh.
Purple with blue goo inside: grape with blue raspberry (?)
Green with pink goo inside: green apple with strawberry... eh.
These candies suck. They don't suck horribly. They just kind of suck.
You get what you want... the pucker dust coating... but it's not that insane which blows. And unlike regular Sour Patch Kids, you're teased by the goo that's inside. So instead of sucking all the sour off before you chomp, you're teased to prematurely chomp to reveal the shitastic goo. It's just oversweet corn syrup with crappy fruit flavor. It's like someone was trying to boobytrap the Sour Patch Kids by filling them with disgustingly sweet venom. Poop.
In the end I ate the whole bag. F off, I had a sweet tooth. And each time I had high hopes that the next piece would be fulfilling, and each time I was let down. Again I say poop.
