JJ Grimsby's Restaurant Review - Melrose, MA

"A Family Place."

I waited outside with my wife and kid and was trying to black out the "over-the-cigarette-while-boozing-it-up-hard-at-6-in-the-afternoon-
talk-while-your-suspected-baby-mama-is-at-home-texting-any-and-all-
possible-fathers-of-what-their-alleged-son-and-or-daughter-are-
doing-conversation" while my food was being cooked for take-out and realized that this isn't so much "A Family Place" as the sign says, but rather "A Disfunctional-Family Place." A good place for families to come with their lawyers to get a good bite. Also a good place to eat for people on a liquid diet.

SO...

I showed up with my wife... and a child in tow in a stroller. We like to hit the bar, order food, have a drink, and take-the-food-out. That's kind of our thing. However -- when we hit the bar, the bartender said "no babies." OK -- thanks for the notice that this place is full of insanely riotous chair-wielding bar brawls -- you saved my child's life. Thank you.

So we ordered from the man in the glass enclosure (maybe plexiglass to defer flying chairs) for take-out. My wife ordered Turkey Tips. He asked how she'd like them cooked. She said "fully through please." I was tempted to say "medium rare, please," and immediately hire a lawyer.

Prior we went inside to sit down (but our daughter was pretty tired so we opted for take-out). The place was nothing special - in fact kind of depressing - all monotone. Wood, wood, wood, dirty floors, wood, wood, teenage server, wood, wood, POPCORN MACHINE, wood, wood, wood. And the bar was really dimly lit and a little sketchy in feel -- which GOD HONEST TRUTH is my favorite kind of place to hang... so this seriously GAINED points for me... just not today. The clientelle seemed like the kind of guys who would beat my ass if they found out I worked at KISS 108 too... which made it that much cooler!! These are the kinds of places I like to hang out in... just without the wife and kid.

While waiting out front for our food I tried to keep my kid occupied looking at random fake candle lights and motorcycles outside. My wife decided to guy wait in the car because two guys out for a smoke-break from the bar were making her feel like a filet mignon.

In the end I got the food, brought it home, we ate it, and were slightly surprised at the quality. SLIGHTLY. My buffalo chicken sandwich was classic bar fare - but on a buttered grilled bun and with battered fries and a pickle was above average. And my wife's turkey tips were fully cooked (thank God) and actually quite tender with a nice bar-b-q sauce on them. The cole slaw accompanying both meals was pretty decent too. Out of 10 I'd give the chicken sandwich a 6.5 (a little mushy), the fries a 6 (a little TOO battery and cold), the cole slaw a 8.5 (very good), and the turkey tips a 8 (tasty & tender).

This is DEFINITELY a place I'd come to drink beers and get an appetizer with the boys. It's kind of the classic dive feel with the small fruitflies and all... and in Melrose which is awesome.

But next time I'll leave the baby at home (with a loving somebody) -- so much for "a family place."

OVERALL: